Today in meditation Gloria noticed that she was trying to impress imaginary people. She has an attachment to the desire to not be ordinary. It seemed like a real breakthrough of some kind, until she realized having a breakthrough made her feel pretty extraordinary.
Gloria knew she could fly – had always known. But she didn’t always think it was safe to fly. She had had a suspicion that if she flew she would not be able to come back to earth. Lately she noticed the earth’s hold on her had become stronger – not just the ground beneath her feet – but the trees, the birds, the landscape itself. It was no longer just a matter of gravity it was a matter of attraction. She and the earth are having a love affair. She began to trust that she could fly and the earth would celebrate. She would not fly alone; she would be part of the earth’s flight of life.
Gloria and Howard were building a fence with no corners. It was a fast and furious endeavor. She bending and hammering then he bending and hammering – over the hill – down through the valley all day long. Until one day, Gloria stopped and said: “Howard, you are on one side and I am on the other. If we keep going, we will never be together.” Howard picked up another board. Gloria threw down her hammer – it hit him on the toe. He noticed. Cautiously Gloria took down a board. Howard raised an eyebrow but did not flinch. Gloria took down another board and locked eyes with Howard. He did not flinch. Gloria softened her eyes with invitation and Howard flinched. They began dismantling the fence. Now they can be seen throwing boards in the air, raising dust in a wild race back to where they started.
Two years ago today Mother was letting go of her physical body and all her fears and struggles. At the moment when Gloria became an orphan – no Mother – no Father – she looked around to see who her family was – who was still standing – not yet taken down by age and time. She saw her brothers embrace, maybe for the first time. She saw her sister holding both worlds together, the seen and unseen. She saw her sister in law being the earth that binds. She saw herself moving from outside to inside. At her death, Mother united all her little children.
Gloria had friends who said: “Come out and play,” but she kept hearing her Mother say “you have work to do.” She let the voices ring in her ears until she realized her Mother’s voice was only an echo of a voice in the past. It wasn’t her Mother’s voice at all because her Mother had softened and let go of all “trying” two years ago. When Gloria listened deeper her Mother spoke through every fiber and muscle of Gloria’s body – wanting to laugh, embrace, cry for love of life – saying: “Time is very short – play, play, play.”
Flowers that drink after cutting- I notice some will take up water like they are connected to the source. The Cone Flower drinks its share each day and I must fill its vase in the mooring. It seems to be very happy in the vase – leaves perky and stem strong. It doesn’t even mind that it has been cut and taken from its Mother. It looks like its celebrating its new home. What do you have to tell me? Live gracefully and well. Drink water. Celebrate your beauty. No regrets.
Not just the sunrise – but every leaf – and every blade of grass and you. Nothing is as it was yesterday. Can you feel the freshness? Can you feel the world expanding in fullness?
My window just did the guillotine maneuver – slammed shut all by itself. It’s saying – you want newness – here you go – it can all change in an instant – here today gone tomorrow.